The Metro is for Lovers

31 Jul

Get it?! This is L.A. and they’re referencing a Clint Eastwood move!
Pulled from

Alright, L.A.  I can already see so many of your faces.  You’re giving me that look.  That, wait…what?  You take the SUBWAY?  The BUS??  My response being, “Yes!  You, don’t?!”

Public transportation is one of greatest perks of city living.  Albeit, we don’t have the best, or most efficient of services and no, they don’t hit all the areas of the city, but it is so amazing, I’m willing to let those things slide.  It’s a little tricky getting started, but after a ride or two, it’s smooth sailing, believe me.

If you haven’t already noticed, I’m a drinker.  I’m also a driver.  Just not at the same time.  Why not utilize the incredibly cheap alternative to a cab or DUI when going out for the night?  I would much rather risk my chances with the locals than cuddle with Bertha in the clink.  Typically, I take public transportation to my destination and grab a cab on the way home.  I’m a huge fan of this plan!  (I keep rhyming, what the hell?)  The city can be yours!

In fact, back in the day, Los Angeles used to have a major subway system that rivaled New York.  You can thank the dicks over at General Motors for the smack down on that.  They started taking it apart after WWII in hopes of selling more cars – well, it worked and now L.A. is made fun of for it’s glorious smog.  Also, did you know the term “road rage” was coined here in L.A. in the late 80s?  Shocker, right?  I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to conclude that General Motors ruined any chance we had at happiness.

Still not grabbing your interest?  How about this fact – riding public transportation is people watching at it’s BEST!  I’ve ridden the bus with Zorro, seen a 90-year-old lady profess her love to her new friend and seatmate, met this guy below – who immediately stole my heart with his Kennedy Space Center kitty-cat shirt, and so on and so forth.

What!? Your cats are astronauts?! Fine, you win.

I recommend starting off with a day trip somewhere, anywhere.  Just keep your eyes and ears open and you’ll be fine!  Think of it as an adventure!

It’s much easier than you think.  Let’s do a little role-playing to get you in the mood.  You pretend to be the stranded French Maid or Grown Man Dressed in a Diaper (your choice) with only enough money to drink and pay for a one-way taxi ride.  I’ll play the Sexy Kindergarten Teacher – get the condoms – here we go!

1.  Figure out where you want to go.   Go to Google maps and enter in your starting and ending addresses like you normally would, except, click the icon that looks like a bus (this is public transport)…see below.  It will show you options for the nearest subway station and/or bus route.  Click here for the link to the timetables in case you aren’t planning an immediate trip (Metro Local Service = Bus; Metro Rail Service = Subway).  There are two different kinds of buses – express and regular.  Most likely, you’ll want express.  They make far fewer stops and will take you less time to get wherever it is you’re going.

2.  Show up at your start destination.  If you are taking the subway, you will have to buy a paper ticket or a tap card.  They have kiosks for this.  It’s just like paying for parking at any garage in L.A. except it’s different, but regardless, you should be used to this.  Most hubs don’t check your ticket right off the bat like they do in other major cities, but you must keep it on your person.  I’ve witnessed ticket checkers going up and down the trains and if you get caught without one, it’s a nasty ticket.  I’m talking the getting-caught-running-the-red-light kind.  That will ruin your weekend.  When taking the bus, bring coins since they don’t make change.  The fares are something along the lines of $1.50 each way, $3.00 round trip and $5.00 day pass (same for both the subway and the bus).

3.  If you did the bus thing, good for you, you’ve made it.  Sit down if you can, and enjoy the ride – watch out, it can get bumpy (note: ladies, it doesn’t hurt to wear a sports bra.)  If you’re on the subway, once you pass the turnstiles you’ll have to figure out which train to get on.  There are a ton of maps down in the depths of the subway system; I feel confident you’ll be able to figure it out.  Know where you need to get off ahead of time and keep an eye on the maps located inside the cars to watch out for your stop.

4.  When you’ve reached your destination, get off.  You will most likely have to walk the remaining bit, but otherwise, you’re there!  Yay!  You did it!

This could possibly be the most liberating thing you’ve done while living in L.A.!  Unless, however, you like the 405 and sitting in your car, or maybe you love going 20 mph on a two lane street when the speed limit is 35 mph, or perhaps you love jail.  If so, you’re right, public transpo just ain’t for you!


3 Responses to “The Metro is for Lovers”

  1. buildingmybento July 31, 2012 at 7:43 pm #

    In China, new metro systems are being completed by the bucket-load, and are being touted as the “in” method of transport. If the idea of trendy subways is exported to LA, let’s hope this doesn’t hitch a ride too.

  2. SoJejune July 31, 2012 at 10:25 pm #

    Ha! I’ll take more LA subways anyway I can get them!


  1. Carmageddon is Coming!! Carmageddon is Coming!! (Artmageddon is Coming!!!) « So Jejune. - August 4, 2012

    […] In each LA neighborhood there will be art that one can walk, bike and/or take the subway to (see The Metro is for Lovers).  I love this!  What a way to make it easier on everyone!  There’s something to be said about […]

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